Peers to Peers Training
Manual
Updated: December 4, 2012
Table of Contents
 Mentor Confidentiality and Expectations
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Confidentiality tips and reminders
Expectations, Policies & Procedures
 Who, When, or What is a Peer Mentor?
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Power of Peer Mentoring
You’re serving a peer mentor when…
Misconceptions about mentoring
Developing a mentoring perspective: what a mentor is and is not
Professional boundaries
 Resiliency
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Resiliency quiz
Personal resiliency builders
 Your Role as a Peer Mentor
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Developing a Mentoring Perspective
Principle objective as a peer mentor
Little pondering - understanding your role
 Ethics
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Ethical standards for peer mentors
 Listening Skills
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Listening barriers and skills
Listening habits
Active listening
 Communication Skills
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Good communication checklist
Communication scenario
 Professional Referrals
 10 hints for handling sensitive situations
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When a health concern becomes significant
Referral sources
Students in distress
Mental health crisis protocol
 The Cycles of Mentoring Relationship
 Closure of a Mentoring Relationship
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7 tips
 Scenarios
 Mentor contract
Mentor Confidentiality
and Expectations
Confidentiality Tips and Reminders
Important Reminders Regarding Confidentiality:
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Personally identifiable information shall be disposed of in the locked shredding
information should be kept in secure locations every day.
All employees who have access to confidential information must follow
College and state policies and procedures regarding FERPA, ADA, and Licensed
Mental Health Counselor laws. If you are unclear about these guidelines and
in Student Development, please contact Liz Scott (840-8443), Patrick Murrell
(864-3301), or Patty Nelson (840-8403). If Enrollment Services, Els Deming
(840-8401). If Student Support Services and Student Life, Sean Cooke (253840-8472).
Confidentiality Tips:
1. Be careful with whom you share information. Is that person directly
involved with the student's education? Does that person have a right to
know?
2. Be careful about using student names and/or talking about their issues
within hearing of non-involved staff or students. Be aware of those
around you when engaging in conversations.
3. Do not point out or label students outside of the College and/or in public that visited
the ADS/Counseling Office, Conduct Office, or any other office.
4. If you are asked about your job, do not use specific student names.
5. Suggest that questions about a student are best directed to the ADS
Coordinator, Faculty Counselor, Conduct Office, Director, or
Administrator.
6. Be careful not to distort, exaggerate, or confuse information.
7. Never use information about a student as gossip or a joke.
8. Be prepared to respond to questions. No matter who asks you a question
about a student, if you do not feel comfortable answering it…don't. You
can do this gently and politely. Be direct and honest, “I’m sorry, I can't
say. I would be breaking confidentiality."
9. Electronic Messages: When texting, emailing, instant messaging, or
having confidential notes on your computer, ensure you are using the
information in exact form and that the messages are sent in a secure manner
to only appropriate information. If in doubt, ask.
It is generally not advisable to use texts or IM when engaged in conversations about student
issues.
When necessary, code messages and when using email, do not include personal opinions or
side comments. Include only the facts and ensure when sending emails, again, the electronic
message is sent only through secure methods and to those who have a right to know.
When keeping notes on student matters, be factual with information and do not use
commentary or surmise opinions about what may have transpired.
OTHER:
Judicial conduct matters are coded in SMS with the initials of Sean Cooke (PY) or
Nancy Houck (FS). Do not share that code with others. Simply refer the inquiring
individual to Mr. Cooke or Ms. Houck. Send investigators to either Sean or Nancy as
appropriate per the campus.
Do not take home files or information that contains personnel information or items
that contain student ID numbers or other identifiable information of student or
student issues.
Mentor Expectations, Policies & Procedures
Mentor Expectations:
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Be to work on time. Try to be here at least 15 minutes before you’re on the clock.
If you will be late or are sick, call AND email letting your coordinator know.
If you volunteer for an event or service, you are required to show up.
When you are on the clock, you must behave professionally.
No homework while on the clock.
For those who are paid, understand that you’re being paid for this position, and things may
come up where you may need to make adjustments to your outside extracurricular activities.
While on the clock, you are working, not socializing with friends.
Show respect for your coordinator and other mentors.
If you have any issues with your coordinator that you cannot resolve between the two of
you, you have the right to discuss your problems with the Director.
Must commit to spending at least a minimum of 4 hours per month with mentee
Must be willing to communicate with mentee weekly
Must attend all required Mentor training sessions and meetings
Paid mentors must attend all service learning projects; Make a Difference Day and MLK
Day of Service. Only with the coordinators permission may you miss a service project.
Keep all records of your Mentor to Mentee activities in your binder and in a secure location
inside the office.
Keep information between you and your mentee confidential.
Mentors will strive to be positive role models for their peers at Pierce.
Class is a priority. By attending and actively participating in class, you maintain the respect
of your instructors and your peers.
An open, non-judgmental attitude regarding the views, beliefs, or actions of other
participants.
To set high standards for yourself and strive for quality and excellence in your work.
Mentors will attend weekly check-in and reflection meetings.
Demonstration of mature, responsible behavior and use of respect towards others.
Mentor Policies:
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Must complete screening procedures
Have a clean criminal history
Must not be a user of illicit drugs or use alcohol or controlled substances in an excessive or
inappropriate manner
Mentors do not give students advice; a mentor’s role is to listen, brainstorm with mentees,
and refer mentees to appropriate Pierce staff.
Initial contact should be made with the office phone. After establishing your mentor/mentee
relationship, and if you feel comfortable, you may exchange phone numbers. All
communication must remain professional while in your mentoring relationship with your
mentee.
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You are mentoring only you mentee. You do not contact your mentees family nor visit your
mentees home.
Activities outside of Pierce College are allowed, but should be conducted as schoolaffiliated activities. Abide by all college, state and federal rules and regulations.
Mentors and mentees will not share transportation to or from activities unless it is organized
by the program staff.
Mentors are required to maintain a GPA of 2.75 or better. Your grades will be checked each
quarter and if a 2.75 GPA is not upheld, you may lose your position.
Mentor Procedures:
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Paid mentors will submit their time logs in time and leave reporting during the 2 paid
periods every month.
Evaluations will be completed at the end of each mentors employment, evaluating the
program, the development of their mentoring relationship, and their own progress as a
mentor.
If a student tells you of a situation that you are not qualified to handle and do not know
which campus resource to refer the student to, call Aubrey Kreitzmann office: 253-864-3224
Retention Project Coordinator for Peers to Peers; cell: 253-241-4689, OR Sean Cook,
Director of Student Life, office: 253-840-8472
I,
(print name) agree to adhere to the Pierce Peer
Mentoring Expectations, Policies, & Procedures outlined above while employed as a peer
mentor. If I breach the expectations, policies or procedures three or more times, I may be
released from my position.
Outline of Penalties:
1) Written and verbal warning
2) Written, verbal warning and disciplinary action.
3) Written and verbal termination of position.
Safety, Liability, and Boundaries for Peer Mentoring Relationships
These are some general guidelines to follow in your everyday interaction with mentees at Pierce. By
no means does this form cover every situation you may encounter. But use these policies, in
combination with your best judgment.
And remember, if you ever have a question or doubt about the safety or ethics of an activity or
situation, check with the peer mentor advisor(s), or find an alternate activity.
Safety, Liability, or Behavior Issues
Where a mentee and I can, and cannot meet
How often I should meet with a mentee
Spending time alone with a mentee
Exchanging phone numbers and good ways to stay
in touch.
Physical displays of affection
Contact with a mentee's family
Our Program Policy Is...
Mentee overnight visits at my home
Mentee reports serious physical or emotional
health issues (e.g. abuse or thoughts of suicide)
Assessing your knowledge of the Section “Confidentiality and Mentor
Expectations”
You must complete this assessment with a 90% or higher before moving on to the next section of your
training. You have the ability to make as many attempts as you want to achieve that 90%. If you reach
90% after your first attempt, you will not be allowed to retake the assessment, but you will have the
ability to move onto the next section of your training.
Mark the correct answer. There may be more than one right answer.
1. In order to become a peer mentor you must
A) Pass a criminal history check
B) Have a minimum 2.0 GPA
C) Be happy all the time
D) Have a car to meet a mentee when he/she is in trouble.
2. For each mentee that you mentor you must spend a minimum of 4 hours per month with them.
A) True
B) False
3. It's okay to have a romantic relationship with your mentee?
A) True
B) False
4. Your mentee must complete an evaluation at the close of their mentoring session with you?
A) True
B) False
5. It's okay to have a discussion about your mentee to another peer mentor?
A) True
B) False
6. The consequence(s), if you breach any of the "Peer Mentor Expectations, Policies & Procedures"
3 times during you employment with Peers to Peers is...
A) A written and verbal warning
B) Nothing
C) Written and verbal termination of your involvement in Peers to Peers.
D) A party celebrating your great work.
7. Only when there is a concern about your mentees safety and safety to others are you permitted
to talk to your supervisor and/or any other individual with the qualifications to deal with the
particular situation.
A) True
B) False
8. It's okay to take your mentee's information home with you?
A) True
B) False
9. As a peer mentor you are expected to attend class
A) True
B) False
10. If you are having a conflict with your superior and you two are unable to come to an
understanding, your options are to:
A) Tough it out and remain silent.
B) Spread a nasty rumor about your superior.
C) Leave anonymous threatening messages for your superior to find.
D) Talk to the Director of Student Life, Sean Cooke.
11. It's okay to meet with your mentee off campus?
A) True
B) False
Who, When, or What is a Peer
Mentor?
The Power of Peer Mentoring
Adapted from California State University Northridge: Equal Opportunity Program’s Peer
Mentor Resource Booklet. http://www.csun.edu/eop/htdocs/peermentoring.pdf
Some of the best mentors of students in our universities are other students. I repeat
this statement: Some of the best mentors of students in our universities are other
students.
But how can this be? After all, in universities aren’t mentors supposed to be older
adult professionals, such as faculty and counselors? How can a student serve as an
effective mentor for another student?
Consider this: For a new student, a university can be an exciting but also
intimidating place. A university can also be a lonely place for a new student,
especially if that student is the first in their family to go to college, the child of
immigrant parents, or a member of a minority community. Even simple things that
experienced students take for granted can be challenging for a new student, such
as finding classrooms and offices on campus, understanding school policies for
registration for classes, and learning the special language of the university such as
“syllabus,” “office hours,” “annotations,” and “prerequisites.” A small number of
new students learn the answers by directly asking professors in their classes or
talking to university professional staff. But many, many students find out
information by asking friends, especially more experienced students. In fact, most
new students find their way to the offices of university staff and professors by first
talking to more experienced students. In other words, the experienced students
serve as guides for new students to help them access the storehouse of knowledge
and resources at the university. Moreover, new students will continue to seek the
advice of experienced students regarding decisions about classes, majors,
academic difficulties, and personal problems.
A mentor is defined as a knowledgeable and experienced guide, a trusted ally
and advocate, and a caring role model. An effective mentor is respectful,
reliable, patient, trustworthy, and a very good listener and communicator. In a
university, mentors can be found among faculty and professional staff. But
mentors can also be found in the ranks of students themselves. Student mentors
are known as Peer Mentors. Due to their close association with other students,
Peer Mentors are very important. Often new students confronted with an academic
or personal problem will seek out advice first from a Peer Mentor and only with
encouragement will that student contact others in the university, such as
counselors, faculty, or administrators.
Based on an informal survey at California State University, Northridge
(CSUN), EOP Director José Luis Vargas found that the single most important
factor associated with high retention and graduation rates for low-income,
first-generation college students was their ability to find a mentor at CSUN.
Finding a mentor not only helped students to succeed academically but also with
career planning and the development of life management skills such as dealing
with personal and family problems.
But finding a mentor at a big university is not easy, especially for a student who is
a first-generation college student. Thus, at universities that have made a
commitment to helping students, programs have been set up for peer advising and
tutoring to promote opportunities for experienced students to serve as mentors for
new students. However, in these programs all experienced students are not Peer
Mentors. Some simply see advising and tutoring as a job and interact with
students coming to see them like junior bureaucrats. Peer Mentors are those who
understand their interactions with students as not simply a job but as opportunities
to help others discover the potential within themselves to succeed in the
university and in life. Peer Mentors help to nurture this potential in other
students. In other words, what distinguishes Peer Mentors from other students who
do advising and tutoring is not the amount of work they do but the quality and
kind of work they do. To become a Peer Mentor, an experienced student does
not have to do extra work but to think about their interactions with fellow
students in a new way. Peer Mentors bring to their work as advisors and tutors
the consciousness of the importance of mentoring.
The following sections of this booklet cover ways that experienced students can
train themselves to become Peer Mentors by developing consciousness about their
important role in working with fellow students, especially first generation college
students.
You’re Serving as a Peer Mentor
When . . .
You help your students achieve the potential within themselves that is hidden to
others — and perhaps even to the students themselves.
You share stories with students about your own educational career and the ways
you overcame obstacles similar to theirs.
You help students overcome their fear of a professor and help them to ask
questions in a class or visit the professor during office hours.
You show a student how you learned time management to do well in your classes.
You listen to a student describe a personal problem and explore resources at the
university to deal with the problem.
You help a new student understand a particularly tough bureaucratic rule or
procedure — and you explain it in a way that the student is willing to come back
to you to learn about other difficult regulations.
You help a new student understand how to use resources at the university, such as
the Learning Resource Center or the Counseling Center.
You know more about a student’s academic performance than what they tell you.
Please add your own insights:
Misconceptions about Mentoring
Misconception: In a university, you need to be an older person with gray hair (or
no hair) to be a good mentor.
Reality: In a university, mentors can be young or old. Some of the most
outstanding mentors of students are fellow students, or Peer Mentors.
Misconception: Mentoring only happens one-to-one on a long-term basis.
Reality: At a big university, mentoring occurs in many different ways. Some
mentoring relationships are traditional relationships involving a one-to-one setting
over a long period of time. But effective mentoring can also occur in a group
setting or even through a single encounter with a student. Dr. Gordon Nakagawa
urges all of us to see each interaction with students as an opportunity for
mentoring and to think about ways to infuse mentoring into our daily work as
advisors, tutors and student assistants.
Misconception: Mentoring programs at universities only are for high achieving
students, especially those who are on their way to grad school.
Reality: All college students need mentors, but according to research faculty in
universities spend most of their time working with high achieving students. In the
late 1960s, students and community activists created programs like EOP to open
opportunities in higher education for low-income, first-generation college students
and to provide students with necessary support services such as mentoring to help
them succeed academically and serve their communities. Thus, central to the
mission of EOP is the practice of mentoring and to ensure that the university
meets this responsibility for all of its students.
Misconception: Only the person being mentored benefits from mentoring.
Reality: By definition, mentoring is a reciprocal relationship where both the
mentor and mentor learn from each other. True mentors are those who have
developed the wisdom to learn from those they mentor.
Misconception: Students who work as peer advisors, tutors and student assistants
already have a lot of responsibilities and do not have the time to take on extra
responsibilities relating to mentoring.
Reality: Mentoring is not a separate set of activities that are different from
advising, tutoring or working as a student assistant in an office.
Mentoring relates to consciousness about your work as an advisor, tutor or student
assistant. Without this consciousness, advisors, tutors and student assistants are
perceived by fellow students as junior bureaucrats focusing on rules, regulations,
and procedures.
Universities don’t need more bureaucrats. Universities do need people who are
student-centered and who can see and nurture the potential in others.
Misconception: By calling yourself a “Peer Mentor,” you become a mentor.
Reality: Not all experienced students who work with fellow students as advisors
or tutors are Peer Mentors, even if they have that job title.
Peer Mentors are those who have developed consciousness about mentoring and in
their interactions with fellow students demonstrate respect, patience,
trustworthiness, and strong communication skills, especially listening skills.
Misconception: To become a mentor requires a lot of time and a lot of work.
Reality: Becoming a mentor requires a change in consciousness —
i.e., how you think about yourself and how you think about others.
Workshops and training sessions can help experienced students to develop this
consciousness. Mentoring is not a matter of working harder or longer or adding to
your job responsibilities but seeing your work differently.
Misconception: At a large university, one Peer Mentor can help only a limited
number of students. Although a Peer Mentor may want to help large numbers of
students, the cold reality is that she or he can only work with a select few.
Reality: Each interaction with a student is a mentoring opportunity, even a single
encounter with a student. The key is to develop consciousness about the
importance of mentoring in your interactions with fellow students and to infuse
this consciousness in your daily work as a tutor or advisor. Also, it’s important for
Peer Mentors to see themselves as part of a network of other mentors — as part of
a Community of Mentors. To effectively help a particular student or a group of
students, Peer Mentors can draw upon this network or community. Mentoring
occurs in a community, not in isolation.
Developing a Mentoring
Perspective
Mentor Roles and Responsibilities
What a Mentor Is . . .
By Dr. Gordon Nakagawa
Mentor roles and responsibilities are varied and complex. Serving as a guide,
facilitator, role model, and/or ally to the mentee, a mentor must be prepared to
take on a range of roles and responsibilities that may change as the mentor/mentee
relationship develops over time, as the needs and goals of the mentee shift, and as
specific contexts and situations require different strategies. Although it’s not
possible to pigeon hold any mentor, mentee, or mentoring relationship, a mentor
will generally enact a number of common roles and responsibilities. It’s worth
emphasizing that whatever role the mentor may take, the mentor’s principal goal,
as Paulo Freire reminds us, is to invite and nurture the “total autonomy, freedom,
and development of those he or she mentors.”
A mentor is . . .
• A knowledgeable and experienced guide who teaches (and learns) through a
commitment to the mutual growth of both mentee and mentor.
• A caring, thoughtful, and humane facilitator who provides access to people,
places, experiences, and resources outside the mentee’s routine environment.
• A role model who exemplifies in word and deed what it means to be an ethical,
responsible, and compassionate human being.
• A trusted ally, or advocate, who works with (not for) the mentee and on behalf
of the mentee’s best interests and goals.
Developing a Mentoring
Perspective
Mentor Roles and Responsibilities
What a Mentor Is Not
By Dr. Gordon Nakagawa
Mentors and mentees should understand that mentors cannot be all things to their
mentees. A role model is not a flawless idol to be mindlessly emulated by the
mentee; an experienced guide is not a surrogate parents who stands in as a mother
or father figure; a caring facilitator is not a professional therapist who is capable
of treating serious personal problems; a trusted ally or advocate is not a social
worker or a financier. Often, mentors and mentees encounter problems in their
relationships due to different ideas about the appropriate role(s) and
responsibilities of either the mentor, mentee, or both.
There are boundaries in virtually any and all relationships, and the mentor/mentee
relationship is no exception. While there are no hard and fast rules, and while
there may be rare exceptions, there are guidelines for what a mentor is (or should
be) and for what a mentor is not (or should not be).
A mentor is not . . .
• A (surrogate) parent.
• A professional counselor or therapist.
• A flawless or infallible idol.
• A social worker.
• A lending institution.
• A playmate or romantic partner.
Professional Boundaries: How Much Hand Holding Is Too Much?
www.motivational1.com/newsletters/proboundaries
“…because it feels good to be wanted I have slipped into enabling a person. There’s great
vortex to the words - ‘I don’t know what I would do without you’… holding a person’s hand too
long…postpone(s) the inevitable which is that they have to go through some pain to become
independent…if you don’t see any movement on the part of the helped after a reasonable
time, I would say that it was enabling.”
“It is disrespectful to do something for someone that they can do for themselves.”
“Anytime we find ourselves doing things that our clients should be doing, than we make them
dependent on us… we should examine ourselves to see if we are not controllers.”
“Because supportive is to encourage people to stand on their own feet, to do their own work…
If you do for others what they can do for themselves, it cripples them.”
“I feel that…boundaries need to be set. Helping a person once or twice with a task teaches
them, but by the third time they need to be set free to try it on their own. If they make a
mistake, then we help them see what it is and how to correct it. If we don’t let that person try
it without our help then they become dependent up on us to the point that they can’t learn
new things without us there to assist them. This not only keeps them from growing, but also
impedes our ability to get our job done.”
“…the major issue should always be is this in the best interest of the client…difficulty comes
when we put our own egos (however unconsciously) above the needs of our clients.”
“…when there is no action on the part of the client then my help becomes enabling, but when
the client takes the reins and moves forward on their own this is helping…I have gotten caught
in the enabling without realizing until it’s almost too late…now I need to change my
relationship with the person and detach with compassion…this becomes stressful when the
person keeps ‘expecting’ me to help them, and I have to keep putting it back on them until we
move to the next level…I love being ‘appreciated’ by another person but I have to remember
that the strongest thing I can give is to let a person become ‘independent.’”
Assessing your knowledge of the section “Who, When or What is a Peer
Mentor”
Choose all that apply in question 1.
1. A Mentor is:
A) A role model
B) a person who works with a mentee and on behalf of a mentee's best interest and goals
C) A professional counselor and/or therapist
D) A romantic partner
E) A knowledgeable and experienced guide who teaches and learns through a commitment to the
mutual growth of both mentee and mentor
F) A lending institution
G) someone who can provide access to people, places, experiences, and resources outside the
mentee's routine environment.
H) A tutor
I) Someone who acts as a sounding board
J) A flawless human being
2. Why is "hand holding" harmful?
Resiliency
The Resiliency Quiz
by Nan Henderson, M.S.W.
http://www.resiliency.com/free-articles-resources/the-resiliency-quiz/
I developed this quiz for anyone—teens, adults, elders—to assess and strengthen the
resiliency building conditions in their lives. Use it for yourself or use it as a tool to help
others you care about build their resiliency.
PART ONE:
Do you have the conditions in your life that research shows help people to be resilient?
People bounce back from tragedy, trauma, risks, and stress by having the following
“protective” conditions in their lives. The more times you answer yes (below), the greater
the chances you can bounce back from your life’s problems “with more power and more
smarts.” And doing that is a sure way to increase self-esteem.
Answer yes or no to the following. Celebrate your “yes” answers and decide how you can
change your “no” answers to “yes.” (You can also answer “sometimes” if that is more
accurate than just “yes” or “no”.)
1. Caring and Support
______I have several people in my life who give me unconditional love, nonjudgmental
listening, and who I know are “there for me.”
______I am involved in a school, work, faith, or other group where I feel cared for and
valued.
______I treat myself with kindness and compassion, and take time to nurture myself
(including eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise).
2. High Expectations for Success
______I have several people in my life who let me know they believe in my ability to
succeed.
______I get the message “You can succeed,” at my work or school.
______I believe in myself most of the time, and generally give myself positive
messages about my ability to accomplish my goals–even when I encounter difficulties.
3. Opportunities for Meaningful Participation
______My voice (opinion) and choice (what I want) is heard and valued in my
close personal relationships.
______My opinions and ideas are listened to and respected at my work or school.
______I volunteer to help others or a cause in my community, faith organization, or school.
4. Positive Bonds
______I am involved in one or more positive after-work or after-school hobbies or
activities.
______I participate in one or more groups (such as a club, faith community, or
sports team) outside of work or school.
______I feel “close to” most people at my work or school.
5. Clear and Consistent Boundaries
______Most of my relationships with friends and family members have clear,
healthy boundaries (which include mutual respect, personal autonomy,
and each person in the relationship both giving and receiving).
______I experience clear, consistent expectations and rules at my work or in my school.
______I set and maintain healthy boundaries for myself by standing up for myself,
not letting others take advantage of me, and saying “no” when I need to.
6. Life Skills
______I have (and use) good listening, honest communication, and healthy conflict
resolution skills.
______I have the training and skills I need to do my job well, or all the skills I
need to do well in school.
______I know how to set a goal and take the steps to achieve it.
PART TWO:
People also successfully overcome life difficulties by drawing upon internal qualities that
research has shown are particularly helpful when encountering a crisis, major stressor, or
trauma.
The following list can be thought of as a “personal resiliency builder” menu. No one has
everything on this list. When “the going gets tough” you probably have three or four of these
qualities that you use most naturally and most often.
It is helpful to know which are your primary resiliency builders; how have you used them in the
past; and how can you use them to overcome the present challenges in your life.
You can also decide to add one or two of these to your “resiliency-builder” menu, if you think
they would be useful for you.
PERSONAL RESILIENCY BUILDERS
(Individual Qualities that Facilitate Resiliency)
Put a + by the top three or four resiliency builders you use most often. Ask yourself how you
have used these in the past or currently use them. Think of how you can best apply these
resiliency builders to current life problems, crises, or stressors.
(Optional) You can then put a  by one or two resiliency builders you think you should add to
your personal repertoire.
 Relationships — Sociability/ability to be a friend/ability to form positive relationships
 Service – Giving of yourself to help other people; animals; organizations; and/or social
causes
 Humor — Having and using a good sense of humor
 Inner Direction — Basing choices/decisions on internal evaluation (internal locus of control)
 Perceptiveness — Insightful understanding of people and situations
 Independence — “Adaptive” distancing from unhealthy people and situations/autonomy
 Positive View of Personal Future – Optimism; expecting a positive future
 Flexibility — Can adjust to change; can bend as necessary to positively cope with situations
 Love of Learning — Capacity for and connection to learning
 Self-motivation — Internal initiative and positive motivation from within
 Competence — Being “good at something”/personal competence
 Self-Worth — Feelings of self-worth and self-confidence
 Spirituality — Personal faith in something greater
 Perseverance — Keeping on despite difficulty; doesn’t give up
 Creativity — Expressing yourself through artistic endeavor, or through other means of
creativity
You Can Best Help Yourself or Someone Else Be More Resilient by…
1. Communicating the Resiliency Attitude: “What is right with you is more powerful than
anything wrong with you.”
2. Focusing on the person’s strengths more than problems and weaknesses, and asking “How
can these strengths be used to overcome problems?” One way to do this is to help yourself or
another identify and best utilize top personal resiliency builders listed in The Resiliency Quiz
Part Two.
3. Providing for yourself or another, the conditions listed in The Resiliency Quiz Part One.
4. Having patience…successfully bouncing back from a significant trauma or crisis takes time.
Your Role as a Peer
Mentor
Developing a Mentoring
Perspective
Mentoring is crucial for students’ academic success and their development of life
management skills. Not only are you role models exemplifying what it means to
be successful students at Pierce College, but you are also potential allies and
advocates for all students you encounter.
Mentoring does not necessarily mean that you must spend huge amounts of time
with individual students; nor does it mean that you will become a mentor for every
student that you meet. What mentoring does mean is that you make every
effort to ensure that every contact that you have with a student counts — that
every interaction matters. It’s the quality, not necessarily the quantity, of time that
you spend with students that sets apart mentoring from other kinds of activities.
You can’t and won’t be able to be a mentor to all students, but you can invite the
possibility of being a mentor to each student in any contact with them.
In other words, every time that you encounter a student, this is a potential
opportunity for mentoring. Mentoring does not require separate meetings where
you purposely act as a role model. Think about it: does it make any sense at all to
say that you’re going to meet for an hour to serve as a “role model” for a student?
What makes more sense is to meet for an hour for advising about a student’s
schedule and also talking to the student about how well that student is doing in
classes. Whatever the setting or reason for meeting a student may be, through
your words and actions you have the opportunity to serve as a Peer Mentor.
Mentoring means making a sincere effort to communicate with a student with
an open heart and an open mind. But having an open heart and open mind does
not guarantee that students will return your good intentions with the same feelings
or with gratitude. You will find that it’s a lot easier dealing with some students
than others. There will be differences in personality, attitudes and values.
Sometimes these differences will be obstacles and will seem to get in the way in
connecting with a student. But it’s vital to remember that just as often, these
differences will be an opportunity to learn about others and about yourself.
For both the mentee and the Peer Mentor, the mentoring relationship is one of
those rare gifts that makes much of what we do as peer mentors worthwhile
and fulfilling. Mentoring is a reciprocal relationship; both the mentor and
mentee benefit and learn from each other. As a staff member of Peers to Peers,
you have the opportunity to make a difference in students’ lives by serving as a
Peer Mentor.
We hope that you will welcome this challenge with the same kind of excitement,
energy, maturity, and dedication that first brought you to the Peers to Peers
mentoring program. As a Peer Mentor, you now have the opportunity to carry on
the legacy of Peers to Peers and to pass this legacy on to the next generation of
students.
[Adapted from “Developing a Mentoring Perspective” by Dr. Gordon Nakagawa, CSUN
Faculty Mentor Program, 1999]
As a Peer Mentor, your principal objectives
should be to:
1. Establish a positive, personal relationship with your mentee(s).
• Avoid acting as if you were nothing more than a professional service provider
(“I’m here to do a job. I’m a tutor/peer advisor/student office worker; I’m not here
to be your friend!” Make a proactive effort to act as a guide, a “coach,” and an ally
and advocate.
• Once a positive, personal relationship is developed, it is much easier to realize
the remaining three goals.
• Trust and respect must be established.
• Regular interaction and consistent support are important in many mentoring
relationships.
2. Help your mentee(s) to develop academic and life skills.
• Work to accomplish specific goals (e.g., tutoring assistance on a homework
assignment or peer advising about the best use of “free” time).
• When and where appropriate, emphasize life-management skills, such as
decision-making, goal setting, time management, dealing with conflict, values
clarification, and skills for coping with stress and fear.
3. Assist mentee(s) in accessing academic and university resources.
• Provide information — or better yet, help your mentee(s) to find information —
about academic resources (faculty, staff, academic support services, student
organizations, etc.). Assist your mentee(s) in learning how to access and use these
resources — don’t assume that just because they know where their professor’s
office is that they also understand how to talk to their professor.
4. Enhance your mentee’s ability to interact comfortably and productively
with people/groups from diverse racial, ethnic, cultural, and socioeconomic
backgrounds.
• Your own willingness to interact with individuals and groups different from
yourself will make a powerful statement about the value placed on diversity.
Model the attitudes and behaviors that you emphasize.
• Contrary to popular belief, we are not “all the same.” It is important to
acknowledge and understand, not ignore our differences. We need to learn how to
use our differences as resources for growth.
Respecting our differences is necessary but not sufficient; we need to know how
to negotiate our differences in ways that produce new understandings and insights.
• Everyone holds particular preconceptions and stereotypes about one’s own group
and other groups. Take special care that you are not (intentionally or
unintentionally) promoting your own views and values at the expense of your
mentees’ viewpoints. Work at understanding and critically examining your own
perspectives on race, ethnicity, culture, class, religion, sexual orientation, etc.
[Adapted from Mentor Training Curriculum, National Mentoring Working Group convened by
United Way of America and One to One, 1991, in One to One “Mentoring 101” Curriculum,
The California Mentoring Partnership.]
A Little Pondering Before You Begin...
As a Peer Mentor:
1.
Individuals will respond positively to the way I:
2.
I think the most important aspect of the peer mentor responsibility is:
3.
Frustration may result in an individual when:
4.
I can motivate others to assume responsibility by:
5.
An individual operates closest to his or her peak potential when:
6.
I think the most positive aspect of being a peer mentor will be:
7.
I can be most effective in my role as a mentor by:
8.
My biggest fear as a mentor is:
9.
I think the most frustrating aspect of being a mentor will be:
10. As a mentor I am most confident in my ability to:
11. I anticipate that my most valuable experience as a mentor will be:
12. During times of personal pressure, my attitude toward my mentor responsibilities will
be:
13. I believe the three most important aspects of the Pierce mentoring program should be:
Ethics
Ethical Standards for Peer Mentors
In your role as a peer mentor, it is important to understand and practice ethical behaviors.
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Act as a positive role model for both fellow peer mentors and your students by not
participating in questionable or unethical behaviors.
Consider sensitive issues that may make you less approachable to certain students
(politics, religion, etc.).
Refrain from gossip, complaining or negative comments about your mentees,
professors, or other Pierce College representatives, especially in public places.
Work cooperatively with you other peer mentors when possible.
Do not show preferential behavior towards any of your mentees.
Demonstrate mature responsible behavior, and decision making skills.
Avoid situations that me be considered unethical or that may have negative
ramifications in the future.
Demonstrate respect, dignity, and courtesy at all times.
Understand that you represent Pierce College. Therefore any adverse behavior
becomes a liability for the school.
Be professional, but don’t offer professional advice.
Don’t lecture, work together.
Respect and identify specific needs of each student.
What behavioral ethics will help guide you? Why?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Listening
Skills
Self-Inventory of Listening Habits
The purpose of this inventory is to help you gain a better understanding of your listening
habits. When you have completed it, you should be able to describe your listening habits, and
you should have established a priority of listening habits to improve. This is, of course, a
subjective inventory and not an objective test.
Directions: Read this list, and place a check in front of each habit that you now have, even if
you use that habit only a third to a half of the time. Then, re-read the habits you have
checked, and place two checks in front of those habits that you think you perform almost all
of the time that you spend listening, perhaps 75-100% of your listening time.
1. I prepare myself for listening by focusing my thoughts on the speaker and the expected
topic and committing my time and energy to listen.
2. I ask questions about what I have just heard before letting the speaker know what
I heard and understood.
3. I follow the speaker by reviewing what he or she has said; concentrating on what the
speaker is saying and anticipating what he or she is going to say.
4. I analyze what I am hearing and try to interpret it to get the real meaning before I let the
speaker know what I heard and understood.
5. I look at the speaker’s face, eyes, body posture, and movement, and I listen to his/her other
vocal cues.
6. I think about other topics and concerns while listening.
7. I listen for what is not being said, as well as for what is being said.
8. I fake attention to the speaker, especially if I’m busy or if I think I know what the speaker
is going to say.
9. I show in a physical way that I am listening, and I try to help set the speaker at ease.
10. I listen largely for the facts and details, more than I listen for ideas and reasons.
11. I am aware of my own facial, body, and vocal cues that I am using while listening.
12. I evaluate and judge the wisdom or accuracy of what I have heard before checking out
my interpretation with the speaker.
13. I avoid sympathizing with the speaker and making comments like, “I know just what you
mean — the same thing has happened to me,” and then telling my story before letting the
speaker know what I heard and understood.
14. I find myself assuming that I know what the speaker is going to say before he or she has
finished speaking.
15. I accept the emotional sentiment of the speaker.
16. I think up arguments to refute the speaker so that I can answer as soon as he or she
finishes.
17. I use “echo” or “mirror” responses to feedback to the speaker specific words and phrases
the speaker has used that I need clarified.
18. I am uncomfortable with and usually reject emotional sentiments of the speaker.
19. I paraphrase or summarize what I have heard before giving my point of view.
20. I am easily distracted by noise or by the speaker’s manner of delivery.
Place an X in the blank by each number you have double-checked.
2____
1____
4____
3____
6____
5____
8____
7____
10____
9 ____
12____
11____
14____
13____
16____
15____
18____
17____
20____
19____
Now you have an inventory of your effective listening habits (all of the odd-numbered habits
that you checked), your ineffective listening habits (all of the even-numbered habits that you
checked), your most effective listening habits (all of the odd-numbered habits that you
checked twice), and your most ineffective listening habits (all of the even numbered habits
that you checked twice).
Becoming an Active Listener
There are five key elements of active listening. They all help you ensure that you hear the other person, and that
the other person knows you are hearing what they say.
1. Pay Attention
Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal
communication also "speaks" loudly.
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Look at the speaker directly.
Put aside distracting thoughts.
Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
Avoid being distracted by environmental factors.
"Listen" to the speaker's body language.
Refrain from side conversations when listening in a group setting.
2. Show That You're Listening
Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.
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Nod occasionally.
Smile and use other facial expressions.
Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.
Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.
3. Provide Feedback
Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to
understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is." and "Sounds like you are saying."
are great ways to reflect back.

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Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say." "Is this what you mean?"
Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.
Tip:
If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so, and ask for more information: "I may
not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just
said is XXX; is that what you meant?"
4. Defer Judgment
Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.


Allow the speaker to finish.
Don't interrupt with counter arguments.
5. Respond Appropriately
Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add
nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

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Be candid, open, and honest in your response.
Assert your opinions respectfully.
Treat the other person as he or she would want to be treated.
Assessment of your knowledge of the section “Listening Skills”
1. Match the 5 key elements of active listening with the definitions provided.
A. Showing that you're listening
B. Defer Judgment
C. Provide Feedback
D. Responding appropriately
E. Paying attention
be treated
Assert your opinions respectfully, but treat the other person as he or she would want to
Giving the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize
that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.
Using your own body language and gestures to covey your attention
Summarizing or paraphrasing what has been said by the speaker
Allow the speaker to finish without interruption
Communication
Skills
Checklist for Good Communication
Good communication between mentors and students is a must! Before your first class, use
the checklist of good communication practices below to help you think about how you will
communicate with your students.
Check the practices below that you use, or plan to use, on a regular basis.
______ Plan all communications.
______ Make sure you have your message clear in your own mind before you try to pass it
on to others.
Phrase your message in a language others can understand.
______ Be yourself- natural and relaxed.
Keep to the point and avoid rambling.
Be positive.
Put yourself in your mentee's shoes -what would you need to hear?
Keep asking yourself, "Is he/she interested in what I'm saying?"
Illustrate points by using examples, anecdotes, and visual aids.
Don't be condescending or patronizing.
Avoid distracting mannerisms.
Use paper for facts, word-of-mouth for reasons.
Ask plenty of questions (What? Why? Who? When? Where? How?)
Resist distractions and listen for ideas.
Don't overreact and overwhelm your mentees with excessive talk and explanation.
Communication Scenario
It would be good to do something for demonstration before we have the students tackle some
scenarios on their own. People usually fare better in trying a new skill after they actually see it in
action.
Your notes about acting as a "sounding board" or "mirror'' are often difficult for people to truly
understand if they haven't seen/heard it before.
I. Acting as a sounding board/mirror through prompting.
S: Another TRIO student, Anthony, is selling a complete computer system for only $1200, but if I
want it, I have to buy it now. He's got another interested buyer. It's a great deal. But buying it
would wipe out my savings. At the rate I spend money; it would take me a year to save up this
much again.
M: Uh huh.
S: I wouldn't be able to take that ski trip over winter break... but I sure could save time with my
schoolwork... and do a better job too.
M:That's for sure.
S: Do you think I should buy it?
M: I don't know. What do you think?
S:I just can't decide.
M: (silence)
S: I'm going to do it. I'll never get a deal like this again.
II. Acting as sounding board/mirror through paraphrasing.
S: I've had the strangest feeling about my teacher lately.
M: What's that? (A simple question invites Jill to go on.)
S: I'm starting to think maybe he has this thing about women - or maybe it's just me.
M: You mean he's coming on to you? (Mark paraphrases what he thinks Jill has said.)
S:Oh no, not at all! But it seems like he doesn't think women- or at least I -have any ideas worth
considering. (Jill corrects Mark's misunderstanding and explains herself.)
M: What do you mean? (Mark asks another simple question to get more information.)
S:Well, whenever we're having a class discussion or whenever he asks a question, he always seems to
pick men. He gives orders to women--and men in the class, but he never asks the women to say
what they think.
M: So you think maybe,he doesn't take women seriously, is that it? (Mark paraphrases Jill's last
statement.)
S: Yeah. Well, he sure doesn't seem interested in their ideas. But that doesn't mean he's a total
woman-hater or a male chauvinist pig. A few women in the class are getting straight A's. So he
must think their work has some value. When Judy brought in an current article from the
newspaper on the subject we have been discussing in class, he applauded her for taking the extra
interest and sharing it with the class.
M: Now you sound confused. (Reflects her apparent feeling.)
S: I am confused. I don't think it's just my imagination. I mean I'm a good student, but he has ever
-not once- asked me for my ideas about a topic. And I can't remember a time when he's asked
any other women. But maybe I'm overreacting.
M:You're not positive whether you're right, but I can tell that this has you concerned. (Mark paraphrases
both Jill's central theme and her feeling.)
·
S:Yes. But I don't know what to do about it.
M:Maybe you should.....(Starts to offer advice, but catches himself and decides to ask a sincere question
instead.) So what are your choices?
S: Well, I could just ask him if he's aware that he never asks women's opinions. But that might sound too
aggressive and angry.
M:And you're not angry? (Tries to clarify how Jill is feeling.)
S: Not really. I don't know whether I should be angry because he doesn't ask for input from women, or
whether he doesn't directly ask for my opinion, or whether it's nothing at all.
M: So you're mostly confused. (Reflects Jill's apparent feeling again.)
S:Yes! I don't know where I stand with my teacher, and not being sure is starting to get to me.
wish I knew what he thinks of me. Maybe I could just tell him I'm confused about what is going on
here and ask him to clear it up. But what if it's nothing? Then I'll look insecure.
M: (Mark thinks Jill should confront her boss, but he isn't positive that this is the best approach, so he
paraphrases what Jill seems to be s wing.) And that would make you look bad.
S:I'm afraid maybe it would. I wonder if I could talk it over with other women in the class and get their
ideas....
M:See what they think....
S: Yeah. Maybe I could ask Brooke. She's so easy to talk to, and I do respect her judgment.
Maybe she could give me some ideas about how to handle this.
M:Sounds like you're comfortable with talking to Brooke first.
S: (Warming to the idea.) Yes! Then if it's nothing, I can calm down. But if I do need to talk to the
teacher, I'll know I'm doing the right thing.
M: Great. Let me know how it goes.
Professional Referrals
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT BEING A MENTOR
What will I do if my mentee tells me something I'm not sure how to handle (e.g.,
he's afraid to tell his parents he is gay, she's being bullied at school, his girlfriend
is pregnant)?
.
.
When you build trust with someone, you may find that you hear intimate, unexpected, and even
shocking or upsetting revelations. As a mentor, your job is to listen, to avoid being judgment, and
to defer to program staff or other professionals when you know that a mentee needs help.
Before you find yourself in a situation like this, it is helpful to define ground rules for
confidentiality. Early on in your relationship, you and your mentee can talk about what you expect
from each other. Explain that you will be an open listener, but you will always try to do what is
best for your young friend. Talk generally about p h y s i c a l and emotional health and safety
issues that might require help from other people. Assure your mentee that you will always act with
her or his best interests in mind. If there comes a time when you need to seek outside help for your
mentee, you can refer back to the promises you made in this early conversation.
Ten Hints for Handling Sensitive Situations
1.
Sit at eye level with the other person.
2.
Don't act surprised, shocked, or angry when hearing about the
situation. But at the same time be honest and understanding
that it is a difficult situation.
3.
Remain calm and compassionate about her experience in the situation.
4.
Don't pressure the individual to tell more than he is comfortable
telling but instead use "open- ended" questions (questions that
won’t elicit a "yes" or "no" response) to allow him to continue if he
is comfortable.
5.
Don't make judgmental statements about the situation (e.g. "How could they...").
6.
Acknowledge that he trusted you enough to tell you.
7.
Reflect back to the person what feelings she is expressing ("That sounds scary.").
8.
Affirm the person for using his coping skills and surviving.
9.
Be honest about what you need to do with the information.
10.
Brainstorm her options with her and offer appropriate resources.
When a Health Concern Becomes
Significant
Suggestions for Obtaining Professional Help for
Mentees

Understand and follow program guidelines for confidentiality, making a report
or referral, handling emergencies, and other policies a n d procedures.

If your mentee raises a health concern:
 Listen to his/her feelings i n a caring a n d open manner.
 Express your personal support and your concern a b o u t the situation.
 Use active listening and open-ended questions to learn as much as you can
about the situation and what your mentee is feeling.
 Find out if your mentee has already talked t o a parent or professional about the
situation.
 Remind your mentee that you have limited training in dealing with this issue and
suggest that a trained professional could off er more support.
 Let the mentee know that the mentoring program staff can help him/her
obtain assistance if necessary.
 Follow up with program coordinator or other assigned p r o f e s s i o n a l if
appropriate.
 Continue meeting w i t h your mentee, listening and providing encouragement
and praise for facing t h e problem and working on it.

If you become aware of a serious health concern that the mentee is not sharing
with you, such as clear signs of drug/alcohol tobacco use, depression, or suicidal
thoughts:
 Report your concerns to your program coordinator immediately.
 Encourage your mentee to have an honest discussion with you about t h e concern.
 Follow the suggestions outlined above.
Student Counseling Services
The Pierce College District provides mental health counseling to enrolled students at both
the Fort Steilacoom and Puyallup Colleges. Faculty Counselors are Licensed Mental Health
Counselors (LMHC) with the state of Washington. The· Pierce College counseling services
include the following:
•
•
•
•
•
Crisis intervention
Short-term individual counseling
Group counseling ·
Consultation and referral
Outreach programs (e.g., communication skills, time/stress management, career
development, eating disorders, substance abuse, sexual abuse, self-esteem
issues)
Core office hours a r e from 8:00a.m. to 5:00p.m. during t h e academic year. We suggest
calling or emailing before sending a student to the office to verify the availability of the
counselor. If the LMHC on your campus is currently unavailable, please feel free to call
the LMHC at the other location.
Fort Steilacoom
253-964-6525
Welcome Center, Room C301G
Dbransford@pierce.ctc.edu
Puyallup
253-840-8443
. Gaspard Bldg, Room ADM115E
Escott@plerce.etc.edu
For emergency assistance, call:
9-911 or 253-964-6751 for Campus Safety
Located in Room 311, Cascade Bldg., Fort Steilacoom
OR
9-911 or 253-840-8481 for Campus Security
Located in r o o m ADM13GB, Gaspard Bldg., Puyallup
Referral Sources
Additional Pierce College Resources
Counseling webpage: www.pierce.ctc.edu/distlcounselingl ·
Access and Disability Services, Fort Steilacoom, 253-964-6526
•
Access and Disability Services, Puyallup, 253-840-8335
•
Women and Family Services, Fort Steilacoom, 253-964-6298
•
Retention Services, Fort Steilacoom, 253-964-6592
•
Retention Services, Puyallup, 253-840-8314
•
Student Development, Fort Steilacoom, 253-964-6418
•
Student Development, Puyallup, 253-864-3227
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Community Counseling Resources
•Greater Lakes Mental Health Center, Lakewood, 253-581-7021
•Good Samaritan Behavioral Health Center, Puyallup, 253-445-8120
Comprehensive Mental Health Center, Tacoma, 253-396-5800
•
Community Crisis Resources
-daytime unless otherwise noted
•Comprehensive Mental Health Crisis Team, Tacoma, 253-272-9882
•Greater Lakes Mental Health Crisis Team, Lakewood, 253-584-8933·
Good Samaritan Mental Health Crisis Team, Puyallup, 253-445-8125
•Pierce County Crisis Team. (after hours), 253-798-4333
•
Crisis Resources
•Chemical Dependency Treatment Information, 253-798-7449
•
•
Domestic Violence Helpline, 253-798-4166 or 1-800-764-2420
•Gang Hotline, 253-798-3624
•National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
•
National Eating Disorders Association Hotline 1-800-931-2237
•
Pierce County Sexual Assault Center, 253-474-7273
RAINN-Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
•Safe Place, 24-Hour Crisis Line, 360-754-6300, TTY 360-943-6703
•Veterans Information, 253-798-7449
•Victim Advocates (24-7), 253-966-SAFE (7233)
•Victim Assistance, 253-798-6975
Faculty and Staff Counseling Assistance
•Employee Assistance Program: http://www.dop.wa.gov/eap 360-664-0498 (Olympia) or 206-281-
6315 (Seattle)
Guidelines for Interaction
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Talk with the student privately, listen attentively, showing concern, interest, and respect.
For clarification, paraphrase or summarize the student's statements
Avoid criticizing or judging
Be culturally sensitive, e.g., stigma related to mental health services
If appropriate, consider referring to the campus Faculty Counselor
If the student resists help and you are worried, consult with the campus Faculty Counselor
or your Division Chair to discuss your concerns
Involve yourself only to the extent that you feel comfortable, but involve appropriate others.
Making a Referral to a Campus Mental Health Counselor
Suggest the student make an appointment to meet with the Faculty Counselor. Faculty Counselors
are Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs) in the state of Washington. Provide the phone
number, email, and location of the Faculty Counselor's office

You could call the Faculty Counselor while the student is in your office and then hand the
phone to the student to arrange the appointment date and time. Write down the Faculty
Counselor's location and phone number for the student.

Sometimes it is useful or necessary to walk a student to the Faculty Counselor’s office or to
another campus referral agency. Call ahead, if possible, to check on availability.

Follow up with the student, but in a general way, not probing.
Fort Steilacoom: 253-964-6525
Dbransford@pierce.ctc.edu
Welcome Center, Room C301G
Puyallup: 253-840-8443
Escott@pierce.etc.edu
Gaspard Bldg, Room ADM115E
Follow-Up and Confidentiality Procedures
Students can be assured that counseling sessions with the campus Faculty Counselor are
conf1dent1al. We understand that you might be interested in the progress of a student you referred;
however, the ability to share information about a student is governed by confidentiality laws and
ethical guidelines.
The Faculty Counselor can
 Answer questions about steps in referring students to counseling
 Offer information about psychological concerns and problems in general
The Faculty Counselor cannot
 Discuss the content of sessions
 Say whether a student is being seen or has kept an appointment
 Discuss treatment plans or progress
In some cases, a student may find it in his/her best interest for information to be shared with a
faculty, staff, family member, or significant other. This is done with the student's written authorization,
which includes a clear explanation of the purpose and conte nt of the disclosure. An exception to
confidentiality would be a counselor's determination of imminent danger to the student or others.
Reasons for Referral Failure
On occasion, despite good intentions and accurate knowledge of resources a referral for counseling
is not successful. Before you judge yourself, the student, or the referral source too harshly, consider
the following possibilities:
 The student might not have been ready to receive the kind of help offered. Readiness IS an
essential component of receiving help.
 There might have been a disparity between the student's expectations and the actual nature
and extent of help provided by the referral source.
 The referral source might not have been appropriate for the type of help needed.
 The referral source might not have been aware of the student's actual needs due to
misunderstanding, misinformation, or poor communication.
Mental Health Crisis Protocol
Puyallup Campus
If student is in imminent danger of
hurting self or others, call in this order:
Student in Crisis
Student in Crisis
If student is not in imminent
danger, get student to quiet,
safe location, if possible, and
call Liz Scott at 840-8443.
Emergency Services
9-911
Campus Safety
840-8481
Liz Scott, Counselor
840-8443
NOTE: Do not leave student alone.
If possible, get student to quiet, safe
location. Notify supervisor or Division
Chair.
If Liz Scott doesn’t answer call the
ADS Program Assistant at 840-8335
to locate Liz.
NOTE: Do not leave student alone.
NOTE: Do not leave student
alone.
NOTE: Do not leave student
alone.
If Liz Scott is out of the office and
not available, call Agnes Steward
(8403 or 6799).
If Agnes is not there, call Bill
McMeekin (840-8419) or Kami
Robinson (840-8336).
Additional Resource Personnel:
Agnes Steward, District Director of Student Development – 840-8403 or 964-6799
Kathy Hamilton, PY Coordinator, Access & Disability Services – 840-3301
Chris MacKersie, District Campus Safety – 964-3655
Deborah Bransford, FS Faculty Counselor – 964-6525
www.pierce.ctc.edu
Students in Distress:
A Guide for Faculty and Staff
Introduction
As Pierce College faculty or staff, you will eventually encounter a student in distress. Your role as a
possible helper is not only valuable, it could prove to be crucial. This resource is offered to help you
recognize signs indicating that a student is in distress, to suggest basic guidelines for helping the
student, and to outline how to make appropriate, effective referrals,
Our campus and community provide many resources to meet the needs of our students. Links to
referral sources for frequently encountered student problems can be found at the end of this
document and the counseling webpage with information for faculty, staff, and students can be
found at www.pierce.ctc.edu/dist/counseling/
Signs and Symptoms of Students in Distress
Although not always disruptive, some student behavior can alert us to serious situations that may
merit intervention.
Possible Concerns
•
Serious grade problems or academic probation
•
Inconsistency with quality of previous work
•
Dependency or repeated requests for special consideration
•
Listlessness, lack of energy, or falling asleep in class
•
Poor classroom attendance
•
Marked changes in personal hygiene, appearance, or behavior
•
Change in social behavior, e.g., isolation from others
•
Inappropriate emotional response, e.g., excessively tearful
•
Signs of alcohol or other drug abuse
Greater Concerns or Crisis
•
•
•
•
•
•
Communication problems, e.g., garbled or incoherent speech
Threat of harming self or others, including overt statements, ideation or gestures
Behavior that regularly interferes with effective management of class
Unusual or exaggerated emotional response, e.g., highly irritable or anxious
Inability to make decisions, despite repeated attempts to clarify and encourage
Bizarre or strange behavior or writings obviously inappropriate to the situation, e.g., talking
to "invisible" people
Assessment of your knowledge of the section “Professional Referrals”
1. If you're presented with information from your mentee that could pose a threat to him/herself or
others, you should do?
A) Remain calm, and show your appreciation for coming forward with this information.
B) Talk to your supervisor about the situation.
C) Freak out.
D) Brainstorm his/her options and offer appropriate resources
E) Remain calm, showing your appreciation for coming forward with this information, talk to your
supervisor about the situation, and brainstorm his/her options and offer appropriate resources
2. If your supervisor is unavailable to discuss a sensitive issue, your next option is to talk to the
Director of Student Life.
A) True
B) False
3. If your mentee is suicidal, you should immediately recommend seeing the school counselor or
calling 911.
A) True
B) False
4. If your mentee is threatening to take their own life, should you let them leave campus?
A) Yes, because most people who threaten suicide don't usually go through with it.
B) No, but if they still have classes to go to, it's okay to let him/her go to class.
C) No. Even if they don't go through with suicide this time they still need help, and are asking for
help.
D) Yes. He/She has your number in case he/she attempts anything.
5. A student may be in distress if he/she is responding with ___________ .
A) Excessively tearful
B) grade problems
C) isolating oneself from others
D) Signs of alcohol or other drug problems
E) All of the above
The Cycles of a
Mentoring Relationship
Stages of a Mentoring Relationship
Stage
Beginning of the Match
The beginning of any relationship is often
awkward, and mentoring relationships are no
exception. Your first few months will focus
on getting to know each other, exploring
similar interests, discussing expectations,
and starting to form norms and bonds that
will shape the rest of your first year together.
During this phase mentors should work
with their mentees to set parameters for the
match, such as when to meet and for how
long, what kinds of activities will take place,
and how to contact each other.
Challenging and Testing
Once the mentoring relationship is off the
ground, it is normal for your mentee to
start testing boundaries of the relationship. Though you’ve spent time affirming that you appreciate and enjoy your
mentee, he may still want to see how far
your commitment really goes. Because
mentees often come from situations in
which adults can’t always be relied on,
trusting another adult is difficult for them,
and they may even try to sabotage the
relationship by “acting out.”
“Real” Mentoring
In this stage, the mentoring relationship has
reached full maturity. Trust and close- ness
have been established and the match is
comfortable having fun and relating to one
another. It is during this phase that mentors
can use the trust they have built to move
their mentees along the developmental pathway—asking them to think about goals or
try new things. There may still be testing or
behavioral issues, but they do not jeopardize
the relationship itself. Mentors that reach
this stage must be prepared to maintain
this hard-won status—this is where the real
impact of mentoring happens.
Effective
Communication
Characteristics
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Getting to know each other
The first impressions
Trying to see the positive in
the relationship
•
Bonding
•
Mentee challenges
Testing phase
Rethinking first impressions
Difficult feelings or emotions
may surface
Preparing for closure
Relationship may become
deeper or mentee may start
pulling away
•
•
Ask open-ended questions
Use body language that is
open and not guarded
Active listening
Demonstrate empathy
•
Avoid “prescriptive”
communication
•
•
Use prompts
Speak with language that
you feel comfortable with
•
Don’t be afraid of silence
•
Be consistent in your
communication, even if it
is difficult
•
Demonstrate respect
Build in problem-solving
techniques in your openended questions
•
•
Raise sensitive issues at the
beginning of your
interactions
•
Make sure to separate
behaviors from who the
mentee is
•
Disclosure of personal
feelings and experiences
when appropriate
•
Find common language to
sum up your feelings
•
Provide feedback that
describes growth that you
observed
•
Be prepared to listen and
affirm fears that your mentee
may have
Reflection
Continued on next page.
Handout continued, 2 of 2
Stage
Transition (toward closure)
The transition toward closure can be a
difficult time for both mentors and youth.
There may be many strong feelings about
the match ending and it is important to not
let the process of ending the match negate
the many positives it provided to everyone
involved. As the end of your match
approaches, work closely with your match
supervisor to end on a high note and make
sure that the transition leaves the youth
feeling positive and fulfilled about the
experience.
Effective
Communication
Characteristics
•
•
•
Preparing for closure
Relationship may become
deeper or mentee may start
pulling away
•
Find common language to
sum up your feelings
•
Provide feedback that
describes growth that you
observed
•
Be prepared to listen and
affirm fears that your mentee
may have
Reflection
Effective Strategies for Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in
Schools and Communities
Closure of a Mentoring
Relationship
Mentoring Relationships: 7 Tips for Coming to Closure
Mentor & Protégé Vol. 9, No. 4, Fall 1999
1. Be proactive. Don’t wait till the end to begin! Agree on how you will come to closure
when you first negotiate your mentoring partnership. Discuss and plan how you will
come to closure -- if it is planned or unplanned. Set ground rules for having the
discussion. Make one of those ground rules an agreement to end on good terms. Many
mentoring partners adopt the no-fault rule, meaning that there is no blaming if the
partnership is not working or one person is uncomfortable.
2. Look for signals. Check out your perceptions and assumptions when the first indicators
appear. What you think you see, may be a reflection of your anxiety, fear, or hope.
3. Respect your partner. If he or she wants to end the relationship and you don’t, you
must honor their wishes. You may want to leave the door open in case circumstances
change. Time is the most frequent cause of mentoring partnership derailment. Being
flexible but focus is helpful. Always get a date on the calendar. If you need to close on a
meeting, do it, but make sure you schedule your next one when you do. Used wisely, a
calendar reminder is a contact point for communication.
4. Evaluate the relationship. Periodically, check out the health, of the relationship. Make
sure your needs and those of your partner are both being met. Don’t wait for
derailment. Make ongoing evaluations a commitment along the path to continuous
improvement. Don’t leave evaluation to chance. Start on the right foot and check in
regularly.
5. Review your goals. Regularly review your goals and objectives with your mentoring
partner. Gauge where you and your partner are in the accomplishment of goals and
objectives, it is time to celebrate and move on. If you chose to move on review what has
worked for you and your partner and what had gotten in your way. Make it a point to
rearticulate goals and renegotiate the terms if you chose to continue the relationship.
6. Integrate. When it is time to come to closure, ask how you can use what you’ve learned.
Without closure, you lose the value-added dimension of integration. Good closure
involves taking what you’ve learned from the mentoring relationship and applying it.
What are the implications? What did you learn? Where do you go from here?
7. Never assume. Remember that there are two partners in the relationship. Does each of
you know how the other feels? Be vocal in your appreciation of each other. Celebrate
your accomplishments together.
Assessment of your understanding of why closure is important.
1. Why is closure a necessary piece of the mentoring process? What might happen, or how would your
mentee feel if he/she did not receive any closure?
Mentoring Practice
Scenarios
Scenarios
Your mentee has shared with you that her father is always angry and emotionally absent. You've also
learned that he is a gambler, does not work, and that as a result the family is going through financial
problems. The last time you two met, she implied that her father was also involved with other women. As
a result, your mentee is having a hard time at home. She tells you she hates her father. What should you
say?
There are five important tips you need to know about handling this issue:
1. The most important thing you can do is to simply listen. You can show you are listening by
reflecting bock what you are hearing; this will allow your mentee to continue to expand
on her feelings while feeling heard.
2. You are not a god. Don’t feel like it is your responsibility to solve all of your mentee's problems.
Doing so will not only make you feel burdened in the long run, but it will send the message that
you don’t think your mentee is capable of solving her own problems. Instead, ask probing
questions that will help her come to her own solutions. For example you can ask, "What has
worked for you in the past when dealing with similar situations?" or even, "Based on past
experiences, what could you do to make things worse for yourself and therefore you should
avoid doing?" Think of your role as being a partner on the journey, rather than the leader
of your mentee's walk in life.
3. Be careful not to impose the burden of your own feelings onto your mentee. Avoid saying
things like "I can't believe your father said that to you" or "Your father makes me so
angry!"
4. It is important that you are very careful not to judge or criticize your mentee's family.
Though you may have strong feelings about the environment you want your mentee to be
raised in, your role is to help him thrive within the context of his reality. Additionally,
remember it is difficult for most youth (and for anyone) to bring up the difficulties they
are having at home and they will be less likely to do so if you jump to criticize. One way
you can help them feel at ease is by simply saying, "Thank you for trusting me with how
you are feeling and what is going on at home. I appreciate you sharing and allowing me to
be here for you."
5. Finally, remember that learning about the familial challenges your mentee is having at
home can provide you with valuable insights about what your mentee is going through, as
well as ways in which she has learned to cope with difficulties. (Does she avoid
problems? Does she act out her feelings in anger?)
What Would You Do?
Peer Mentor Training Scenarios

A peer mentee asks you for a loan or repeatedly asks for you to pick up the
lunch bill.

You suspect your mentee doesn't have enough$ for groceries.

It's spring quarter; you're graduating in a month & a half. Your dream job just
offered you a placement, but only if you start working 20 hours/week right now &
you just don't have as much time for mentoring anymore.
 You think one of your mentees might have feelings for you.

Your mentee just entered a relationship & it's getting serious fast. They just don't
seem as interested anymore, in mentoring or school...

One of your mentees has developed a drug addiction.

You suspect one of your mentees is being abused by someone they live with.
Florida Tech Counseling and Psychological Services
Mentor Training Role Playing
Scenario #1:
You notice that one of your mentees has been acting differently lately. He has been
regularly skipping class and you’ve heard rumors that he’s been out frequently and
drinking excessively. One day, he looks like he hasn’t slept all night and you notice that
he smells like alcohol from going out the night before. You’re worried about him, so you
decide to confront him with your concerns. What do you say? How do you handle the
situation?
Scenario #2:
You notice that one of your mentees has been acting differently lately. He has been
isolating from the group and alienating himself by saying hostile things to his peers. He’s
been very sarcastic with you lately and seems disinterested in being part of the
mentoring process. You decide to talk to him about the situation. What do you say?
How do you handle things from there?
Scenario #3:
You notice that one of your mentees has been acting differently lately. She has been
acting withdrawn, has been very quiet, and has been hanging out alone every time you
see her. You notice these behaviors and decide to talk to her. She says that she’s really
homesick, that no one at Florida Tech is like her, that she isn’t rich and the school sucks,
and that she wants to go home. What do you say to her? How do you handle the
situation from there?
Scenario #4:
You notice that one of your mentees has been acting differently lately. She has lost a lot
of weight, is wearing baggy clothes, has circles under her eyes, and overall
doesn’t look “good.” On several occasions, you overhear others in your group talking
about her, particularly that they think she has an eating disorder and are worried about
her. How do you broach the subject with your mentee? How do you handle the
situation from there?
Scenario #5:
You are out at a local club having a great time. You have been really stressed out
lately, working really hard to meet all of your obligations and you need to blow off
some steam. You look over and see some of your mentees. You realize that you’re
supposed to serve as a role model for them, you’re pretty drunk. How do you handle
the situation? What do you say to them the next day when you see them?
Scenario #6:
It is the middle of the semester. You and all of your mentees are really stressed out.
Everyone has been going out a lot this term and you know how weighed down they are by
all of their commitments. In fact, almost everyone you know has a cold, including you.
You notice that everyone seems out of balance by partying too much. How do you help
refocus your mentees to get motivated and prevent them from blowing their term
academically?
Scenario #7:
Your mentee complains after week two that he cannot stand his roommate. The
roommate is up late at night, keeps his room a mess, and is always on the computer and
is stealing his food. He tells you that residence life won’t do anything about it. How do
you respond?
Scenario #8:
Your mentee complains that she is struggling horribly with Calculus class and that the
professor is a terrible teacher and half the class is failing and that the teacher is not
competent. How do you respond?
Case Study: “The Single Mom”
Anna feels that she is being pulled in too many directions at once. Her life feels out of
balance. A single mother of two sons, s h e is trying to make it through college on her own
and is dealing with a deadbeat ex-husband. She gets limited help from her parent’s while she
works twenty-four hours a week a n d goes to school full time.
Trying to manage her house- hold and s o c i a l l i f e and m e e t i n g her children’s needs
leave Anna feeling overwhelmed. She worries about losing her temper with her sons and
constantly disrupting their routine, as well as "abandoning" her friends. These
Worries lead to incredible feelings of guilt.
Sometimes Anna misses classes or arrives late because she needs to take a child to the
doctor or run some other errand she believes cannot wait. Missing out on information
from classes creates a problem with getting homework submitted or even completed.
She wants to do well in sd1ool and maintain her personal life, but she is becoming
overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy.
Remember that this case study has been written about a real student facing real challenges. We
encourage you to imagine the complexity of the situation and not to oversimplify the issues
that the student faces.
Retention Project Mentor Contract
As a mentor, I agree to the conditions outlined in this contract. In addition to fulfilling my duties as a
mentor as specified in the “Mentor Objectives” in the Mentor Training Manual, I also understand the
boundaries, parameters, and limitations of the mentor-mentee relationship.
Specifically, I understand that a mentor is not: a surrogate parent, a professional counselor or therapist,
a flawless or infallible idol, a social worker, a lending institution, or a playmate or romantic partner. If I
have further questions or am not clear about mentoring over the course of the year, I will ask the
executive mentor(s) and/or the program coordinator. Those found to be romantically or sexually
involved with their mentees will be immediately relieved from the positions as mentors.
Additionally, I understand that I must maintain confidentiality in regard to my mentee and all students
with whom I work. I also understand the limits of confidentiality in the mentor-mentee relationship as
outlined in the Mentor Training Manual. I have read and understood the Mentor Training Manual and
the Pierce College Confidentiality Statement.
By signing this contract, I agree that I have read and understood this contract and the documents to
which it refers. I understand that if I am found to be in violation of the terms set forth by this contract,
my position as a mentor will be terminated or up for review as warranted by the situation.
Mentor Signature: ___________________________________
Date: ______________
Program Coordinator Signature: ________________________
Date: ______________
Staff Signature: _____________________________________
Date: ______________
End of Training Evaluation
1. What did you find to be most useful during your training?
2. What did you find to be least useful?
3. Was there anything you felt was missing from this session?
4. Anything you would have liked to know more about?
5. In what other ways could we improve this training?
6. List other topics or concerns you would like to have addressed in upcoming training
sessions.
7. Any additional comments?